Why I Keep My Fat Pants

One of the best/worst things about losing weight is that once you've made some decent progress, you no longer fit into the same clothes you once did. It's one of the best things because it's a tangible reminder that you've made progress, and you get to go shopping for new clothes that you once thought were off limits; however, it's one of the worst things because it now means you have to foot the bill for said shopping trip! 

For the bulk of my weight loss journey I managed to get by without having to buy too many new pairs of pants, thanks to the legging trend, and still managed to wear a lot of the same shirts I used to. But there came a point when my wardrobe became somewhat limited, and a shopping trip several shopping trips became necessary in order for me to dress like a normal person. Anyone who knows me knows how abundantly happy this made me to have an excuse to shop, even if it was off of the clearance rack to keep the cost of my new size-appropriate wardrobe down. Aside from the obvious joys that shopping can bring, there's no better feeling than having to run back and forth from the fitting room a hundred times to get the next smaller size because the size you thought you were keeps falling down!

So, once I knew I was close enough to my goal that my size would not change too much, I gradually began adding to my wardrobe. This obviously left a lot less room in my closet and so the garbage bags came out and trips to Goodwill were made. In the past, my weight has fluctuated so drastically that I was often hesitant to get rid of any larger size clothing, in case I should have a need for them again. I would put them away in bins and save them as a safety net for when I would inevitably fall off the wagon and start stuffing my face with KFC. As you might have guessed, I didn't have a whole lot of faith in myself back then. 

Well I have no plans to EVER have a need for those larger sizes to stick around waiting to be pulled out of bins on that tragic day when I find that I can't get my pants to button. I have gained enough confidence in myself over the past 2 years to not need a safety net. I now know that I'm not a ticking time bomb just waiting to get fat again and that the choices I make are entirely within my control. And I choose to keep progressing, rather than move backwards.

At the risk of going all Jenny Craig commercial on you guys I had to post these!
Had a good laugh when I opened up my bin of winter clothes and found
my special fat pants! Had an even bigger laugh when my sister's boyfriend
tried them on and they fit!  ;)

So, if I have no need for these "fat clothes" then why, you ask, are you looking at the above pictures of me holding up my fat pants? These are not just any fat pants. These are special fat pants. The only fat pants I still keep. These pants were the only pants that fit me when I was at my heaviest non-pregnant weight. These are the pants that I was elated to finally be able to fit back into 2 weeks after giving birth. I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and joy the moment I was able to zip these pants up because it meant that I had gotten down to my pre-pregnancy weight...yea...I know, right???? What was I thinking??? 

At the time, I was just happy to have lost the baby weight and would settle for being the same state of overweight that I was before my pregnancy, just as long as I wasn't MORE overweight because of the pregnancy. I had no expectations that anything I did to try and further my weight loss would be effective or long-lasting, and didn't want to get my hopes up. So I assumed that these pants were the best I was going to get. 

Two years, 45 pounds, and a whole new mindset later I know myself better than that. I know that I care enough about feeling good from the inside out to never let myself get back to that unhealthy and unhappy state again. I know that I am in control and I know what I am capable of. So, why do I keep these particular fat pants, you ask? These fat pants are a symbol of the knowledge I have gained about myself throughout my journey of living a healthy lifestyle. THESE FAT PANTS serve as a reminder that I can do anything I put my mind to, and that I am stronger than I once gave myself credit for. And THAT, my friends, is why I keep these fat pants.

Why Take Progress Pictures?

Because you'll regret NOT taking them. That's why. I do. When I first started trying to lose weight, truthfully, I didn't have enough faith in myself to think I would ever get even remotely close to my goal. Taking progress pictures, or "Before" pictures never entered my mind because I didn't believe I would ever make it to the "After" pictures. And while I'm still not what I would call an "After" (I'll explain later), I've learned throughout my journey the importance of taking these pictures, no matter how goofy you feel doing it. 

I should preface what I'm about to show you with a confession: I am a recovering scale addict. No exaggeration needed for dramatic effect here. I, quite literally, used to step on the scale at least a dozen times a day. And whatever that number said dictated what state of mind I was in for the remainder of the day. The problem with this lies in the fact that those numbers can fluctuate dramatically and not in any way, shape, or form reflect your true progress. Water weight will make that scale do some pretty crazy things at times - and it's particularly a problem for women, who tend to retain water like the Hoover Dam, depending on the time of month. Something you should also consider when relying on the scale is that muscle is more dense than fat, which means that if you are building muscle, your weight may stay the same or even go up.

You can rely on the mirror to tell you if you are making progress, or how tight or loose your clothing feel, but this can often be subjective depending on how you feel that day.

Measurements are a great way to track your progress - yet another thing I regret not taking when I started out. They tend to be a pretty accurate account of how far you've come - just be sure to take them at the same time everyday for consistency.

But the saying "A picture is worth a thousand words" says it best. Progress pictures really tell your whole story if you are consistent with them. Giving up my obsessive weigh-ins and taking pictures to document my progress was really the turning point for me when it came to re-claiming a healthy perspective on my clean lifestyle. Sometimes you become so fixated on where you are headed, that you forget to look back and see where you came from, as well as look around at the present and appreciate how far you've come.

After getting several requests to post "Before" and "After" photos, I've done my best to compile a few pictures that illustrate my journey for you.  This wasn't easy for me to do, because quite honestly, who wants to post pictures of themselves looking their worst for the whole world to see? But I reminded myself that seeing other people's transformations was such a big motivator for me, and I would feel silly not posting them out of insecurity if there is the possibility that it might motivate someone else. Therefore, I present to you my "Before" and "During" pictures. As I mentioned earlier, I hate the idea of calling them "Before" and "After". "After" implies that the transformation is done. But the truth is, we're never really the "After" because we're constantly growing, changing, and striving for new things. So while I may never be the "After" picture, I'm enjoying being the "During" because I love the process of change and growth. So here is a brief documentation of my changes! Hope it motivates you to make your own "Before" and "During" album!  ;)

September 2010 -
A week past my due date, VERY
uncomfortable, and officially the
heaviest I have ever been.

March 2012 -
Couldn't find any pics, but
about a month after this, I
reached the lowest weight I've
 been since high school!

                         

                                 To all the moms who think they will never see their abs again -
                                  it's not impossible, I promise you that! It just takes time,
                           hard work and a good diet.

Absolutely HATED having
my picture taken!

I never felt comfortable wearing
a bathing suit - now for the first time
I don't even mind being
photographed in one! 
This Pic ^^^ was the first bikini
I had bought in years, and this was
 the first progress 
picture I decided to take!

      






    

                  My latest progress...my goals have
             evolved as I have grown and
              learned new things... 

Instead of trying to be "skinny", 
I increased my calories slightly,
 and started lifting heavier and 
with more intensity to grow muscle...
"Strong is the new skinny."  :)

Like I said earlier, if I hadn't taken progress pictures, I'd still be obsessing over the silly numbers on the scale! It's so important to take a step back and look at your progress from a distance to really gain some perspective on it! Even if you feel funny taking them, I encourage anyone who is trying to change their body to do this - and no, you don't have to make a blog and post them for everyone to see! Use them as a tool to learn about yourself and about how you grow and change. I promise, you won't regret it!  :)

Why I Do What I Do

As I've mentioned in previous posts, the one question I tend to get asked pretty often is "How'd you lose all that weight?" People always want to know what "diet" I'm on, or if I even eat at all.  I notice this particularly among many of my clients, because to them, my weight loss seems pretty drastic, I would imagine.  When you only see your hairstylist every 6 weeks and every time you see them they shrink a size, I suppose it does seem like it's happening overnight.  I can't blame them.

The truth is that it isn't happening overnight - it's been a long, sometimes difficult journey of dedication and hard work.  And I've loved every minute of it.  No, really.  Everyone needs to have that one thing that moves them - something they're passionate about.  For some people it's religion, or politics or in my hubby's case, anything with a motor!  For me, this has been it.  And if you've known me a long time or if you've followed my previous blogs, you'll know that this wasn't always the case - I didn't grow up with any appreciation for healthy living or an active lifestyle.  I grew up in front of a TV, eating fast food and mac n' cheese.  So if I was able to fall in love with a life of fitness and clean eating, I'm pretty sure anything's possible! 

I get a multitude of different reactions when I answer the question, "How'd you do it?" with an enthusiastic "I eat healthy and I exercise...a lot."  Some people shake their heads and I'm sure they are thinking I've gone off the deep end and I'm one of those "health nuts".  They wouldn't be caught dead giving up their favorite foods or their time to go to the gym. Don't get me wrong - that's completely fine, as long as they are happy with where they are at - I'm not judging.  But others often say they wish they could be like that - to have so much discipline, but they're just not that kind of person, or they don't have the time, etc. What I wish to say to those people is that you can be like that if you truly want it - but you have to go about it in the right mindset.  If you go into it thinking of it as a chore, you're only setting yourself up for failure.  It's always a little awkward at first, starting anything new, but the trick is to learn to truly APPRECIATE the process.

When I first set out on my health/fitness journey, I'll admit, for me it was only a means to an end.  I wanted to be skinny and this was the way to do it.  But along the way, I've realized that it has become about so much more than just fitting into a smaller size. It's become an entirely new way of life. I have come to love it - and not only because it has provided results.  I genuinely look forward to my workouts and to eating healthy, balanced meals. If you're reading this and you still think I'm nuts, just hear me out.  These are just 3 of the things you stand to gain from living a healthy lifestyle - aside from a smaller waistline!  ;)  This is why I do what I do:

1. It feels good knowing you have a healthy body.  A few months ago - right around the time I found myself struggling with finding a healthy balance in this lifestyle - I took a pretty hard spill at work and went right down on my booty in a pair of shoes I probably shouldn't have been wearing!  When you're a kid, falling is a natural part of life - you get right back up, put a band-aid on it and go along your merry way.  As an adult though, your body doesn't always handle it as well and it becomes a bigger deal - and truthfully it shook me a little.  I knew that I would likely wake up in agony the next day from the "trauma" of wrenching my whole body around to try and catch myself.  Well, the next morning I was surprised to find that, while my butt didn't feel so great, the rest of me managed to escape unscathed.  Later that day, my dad commented that it was a good thing I was in such great shape, or I would have really been hurting.  That's when it hit me.  While my mind had been so focused on eating and exercising to LOOK good, I had managed to build myself a body that could take a little bit of a beating.  I had always been sort of a weakling in that way, and it made me proud to say that I had toughened myself up a little bit.

2. Empowerment.  Nothing feels worse than being helpless.  I know.  I've been there - that desperate feeling that you have no control over your life or your surroundings.  Living a fit life has given me a sense of empowerment that nothing else ever has.  Feeling empowered to make healthy choices, even when they may not always be the easiest ones to make, is a character builder like no other.  Just the other day, I came across this blog post by Electra over at Vanilla Bean Lean and she put very eloquently into words exactly what I was thinking while writing this post.  She said, basically that you ALWAYS have a choice, and any time is a good time to choose.  It's not something someone needs to twist your arm to get you to do - it IS in every one of us to make the decision to lead a healthy life, and to truly learn to love and appreciate the process.  It's just a matter of realizing that the power to choose is all you! 

3. A more positive outlook. This is not to say that there are not some very fit people with bad attitudes out there - if you've ever watched an episode of Jersey Shore you can attest to this!  But if you research fitness and health, one of the things you'll find is that a lot of the people who live this lifestyle tend to be pretty positive people.  My guess is that the first 2 reasons above have something to do with it.  If you have a healthy body and a healthy mind, even the hardships in life don't seem as bad.  It's much easier to keep a positive attitude if you FEEL good.  And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that a little positivity goes a LOOOOONNNNGGG way!  Energy, whether positive or negative, tends to build momentum.  It's like that Liberty Mutual commercial where one person does a nice thing and then they pass it on and so on and so on.  Do one nice thing for someone for no reason and you want to do it again and again and before you know it you're a positive ball of energy doing all kinds of nice things for people just because it feels good!  Similarly, if you wake up and stub your toe on the bed, and drop your toothbrush in the toilet, and burn your breakfast, and catch every stoplight on the way to work, it can be pretty easy to let that negativity build up and then you take it with you all day and the next day and so on. And before you know it, you're a miserable, negative person who makes everyone around you miserable!  Ok, now I'm really rambling, but my point is: it's much better to be the 1st type of person, and if living a healthy life will make me into that person, I'd say all of those hours at the gym were well-spent!

As I said earlier, if someone is happy without fitness in their life, more power to them!  Except a lot of people nowadays are not happy with how they look or feel but they see fitness and healthy eating as too much of an inconvenience to be for them.  All I'm saying is that it doesn't NEED to be.  If you take the time to really learn to appreciate what your body can do if you hold it accountable and push it beyond it's limits, you may find out that you get more than you bargained for - in a REALLY good way!