Why I Keep My Fat Pants

One of the best/worst things about losing weight is that once you've made some decent progress, you no longer fit into the same clothes you once did. It's one of the best things because it's a tangible reminder that you've made progress, and you get to go shopping for new clothes that you once thought were off limits; however, it's one of the worst things because it now means you have to foot the bill for said shopping trip! 

For the bulk of my weight loss journey I managed to get by without having to buy too many new pairs of pants, thanks to the legging trend, and still managed to wear a lot of the same shirts I used to. But there came a point when my wardrobe became somewhat limited, and a shopping trip several shopping trips became necessary in order for me to dress like a normal person. Anyone who knows me knows how abundantly happy this made me to have an excuse to shop, even if it was off of the clearance rack to keep the cost of my new size-appropriate wardrobe down. Aside from the obvious joys that shopping can bring, there's no better feeling than having to run back and forth from the fitting room a hundred times to get the next smaller size because the size you thought you were keeps falling down!

So, once I knew I was close enough to my goal that my size would not change too much, I gradually began adding to my wardrobe. This obviously left a lot less room in my closet and so the garbage bags came out and trips to Goodwill were made. In the past, my weight has fluctuated so drastically that I was often hesitant to get rid of any larger size clothing, in case I should have a need for them again. I would put them away in bins and save them as a safety net for when I would inevitably fall off the wagon and start stuffing my face with KFC. As you might have guessed, I didn't have a whole lot of faith in myself back then. 

Well I have no plans to EVER have a need for those larger sizes to stick around waiting to be pulled out of bins on that tragic day when I find that I can't get my pants to button. I have gained enough confidence in myself over the past 2 years to not need a safety net. I now know that I'm not a ticking time bomb just waiting to get fat again and that the choices I make are entirely within my control. And I choose to keep progressing, rather than move backwards.

At the risk of going all Jenny Craig commercial on you guys I had to post these!
Had a good laugh when I opened up my bin of winter clothes and found
my special fat pants! Had an even bigger laugh when my sister's boyfriend
tried them on and they fit!  ;)

So, if I have no need for these "fat clothes" then why, you ask, are you looking at the above pictures of me holding up my fat pants? These are not just any fat pants. These are special fat pants. The only fat pants I still keep. These pants were the only pants that fit me when I was at my heaviest non-pregnant weight. These are the pants that I was elated to finally be able to fit back into 2 weeks after giving birth. I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and joy the moment I was able to zip these pants up because it meant that I had gotten down to my pre-pregnancy weight...yea...I know, right???? What was I thinking??? 

At the time, I was just happy to have lost the baby weight and would settle for being the same state of overweight that I was before my pregnancy, just as long as I wasn't MORE overweight because of the pregnancy. I had no expectations that anything I did to try and further my weight loss would be effective or long-lasting, and didn't want to get my hopes up. So I assumed that these pants were the best I was going to get. 

Two years, 45 pounds, and a whole new mindset later I know myself better than that. I know that I care enough about feeling good from the inside out to never let myself get back to that unhealthy and unhappy state again. I know that I am in control and I know what I am capable of. So, why do I keep these particular fat pants, you ask? These fat pants are a symbol of the knowledge I have gained about myself throughout my journey of living a healthy lifestyle. THESE FAT PANTS serve as a reminder that I can do anything I put my mind to, and that I am stronger than I once gave myself credit for. And THAT, my friends, is why I keep these fat pants.

Change

Since I have started writing my blog, I have gotten great feedback and encouragement from family, friends, and even new friends that I have made as a direct result of writing it.  While I can't even begin to express how truly thankful I am for the support, there is one thing that has been nagging at me in the back of my mind - the feeling that I am not making a difference.  

I won't lie. Of course it feels great to receive compliments - who doesn't like to be praised for something they worked so hard on???  But that was not the reason that I wanted to write a blog in the first place - it was never about me.  The past 2 years have been about me.  Every night when I left my sleeping baby and husband to go to the gym...that was about me.  It was a change I needed to make for myself.  I know it may sound selfish, but the truth is I'm glad I did it.  It's true what they say - you have to take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of others.  I'm in a much better place than I was 2 years ago and, in my opinion, a much better wife and mom because of the changes I have made. But that's not what this blog was ever about.  

What inspired me to write this was the idea that I could actually make a difference in someone's life the way others have made a difference in mine.  I used to think that there were 2 types of people: the people who are natural leaders and are effortlessly able motivate others, and the people who NEED to have those leaders to motivate them.  But one of the many lessons I've learned during my journey is that we are ALL capable of being the former.  The difference in the 2 types of people simply lies in whether or not they have realized this potential. And I discovered for the first time that I had a desire to be the type that realized it. 

So to set out on this journey to help others and then feel like a failure because everyone isn't going out and making drastic changes in their life was initially a little discouraging. But it got me thinking...MY transformation - physical or mental - didn't happen overnight! Why would anyone else's? It should be so obvious to me, of all people!

My own physical transformation is going on 2 years and counting; and the changes I've made in my ways of thinking were preceded by years of failed attempts at crash diets and many, many unfulfilled promises of change. To make REAL change in your life - whether it has to do with health and fitness, or any other life situation that you are trying to change - there has to be a culmination of different things happening - sort of a perfect storm.

1. The Want. You have to want it. No matter how much motivation you are receiving from external sources, this is by far THE MOST important step to change. You have to truly want it deep down to your very core - your motivation has to begin with something that is inside of you. Nobody else can do this step for you. 

2. Readiness to sacrifice for what you want. When I embarked on my fitness journey, I had just come off of a 9 month stint of sharing my body with another human being. A beautiful experience, no doubt, but also a little unnerving at the same time. Over the course of my pregnancy, I had a lot of time to sit back (with my swollen feet up!) and really think about how I felt about where my life would soon be headed. I didn't like what I saw.  I didn't like the way I felt about myself and I hated the idea of my daughter growing up seeing poor self-esteem as the norm. This was enough for me to reconcile the idea of getting dressed at 9:00 at night in the dead of winter and heading out to the gym when everyone else was cozying up on the couch, watching "Dancing with the Stars". Mentally, I was ready for change, no matter how inconvenient it seemed.

3. The Catalyst. If you read my very first blog post, then you know that, while I was making good on my promise to include fitness in my life, I was still only going through the motions for the first year. Yes, I spent almost every night at the gym, but after a short while, what I was doing became fairly ineffective, and I was on the verge of giving up and settling for the results I had gotten. It wasn't until I saw the drastic results that someone else had gotten from dedicating themselves to learning about fitness and nutrition that I began to truly understand what I had to do to reach the goals that I had set for myself. This was the catalyst that sent me into a frenzy of research, trial and error, and led me to make the decision to not only make this a "diet", but a "lifestyle". 

As I mentioned earlier, my inspiration for starting this blog was to help others see that it is possible to do what sometimes can feel impossible. I get a ton of people telling me that they wish they could do what I did and change their habits and lifestyle. For me, hearing that makes me a little sad. Because I know the truth: that you don't have to wish for it. I had a hard time conveying the intensity of what I mean by this in writing, so I recorded a Vlog to hopefully get the message across...hope this explains it a little better:

P.S. I apologize for having to get up in the middle of it - haha - and for my rambling and abuse of the word "Um" - I'm not a great public speaker, which is why I have a written blog, as opposed to a regular YouTube channel, but I just felt like something was getting lost in translation when I was putting it in writing. 

Nobody's Perfect: Overcoming Setbacks and Regaining Motivation

Nobody's perfect. Not even me. Ha ha, no I'm totally kidding - ESPECIALLY not me!

Over this past year, I seem to have inadvertently made quite a reputation for myself amongst family and friends as a bit of a "health nut". I remember, back before I became interested in nutrition and fitness, how I used to view people who were supposed "health nuts." Out of sheer ignorance I assumed that they, first of all had a screw loose, but secondly never indulged in anything that wasn't considered healthy. In my mind, they saw themselves as superior to the unfit and were obviously above junk food cravings, unhealthy habits, and were definitely perfect ALLLLL the time.

All I can say is: Good God I hope that's not how people see me! 

Because that is DEFINITELY NOT ME!

Yes, over the past year or two I have made a very conscious effort to lead a healthier lifestyle: eating certain foods, devoting a lot of time to exercising, etc. And yes, it has had great benefits, including looking and feeling better, having more confidence in myself, and just being happier and healthier, overall. I am aware of all of these great things that being more fit has brought me, and yet it does not make me immune to falling off the wagon now and again. 

So over the past month or two I have definitely felt myself losing some steam when it comes to my healthy habits. My diet has been somewhat erratic, and my motivation to push myself harder in the gym has been a little on the low side. Although I have forced myself on most days to stick to my workout schedule, I know deep down that my workouts have not been as intense as they could have been. And truth be told, I'm definitely feeling the effects that my mistakes have had on my body.

My guess is that this sounds familiar to a lot of people. Chances are, at some point in your life you've gone all gung ho about something only to lose your enthusiasm over time, am I right? Whether it be a diet or exercise plan, a new hobby, or a project around the house, it tends to be in our nature to throw everything we have into a task for a short time and then retreat back to our old, comfortable ways once the novelty has worn off. 

What is the best way to overcome this phenomenon? You could start by being aware of it. A little self-reflection can go a long way in a situation like this. For me, it took a couple of sleepless nights of asking myself why I was feeling this way and really stepping back and reflecting on why it bothered me. Was being fit and healthy still something that was important to me, or was it just a passing phase - "remember that year that Sara got really skinny? Yea, she gained all that weight back and got fat again!" I certainly don't want that to be the case. No, I decided. I made this decision for life and I'm sticking to it. I don't want a quick fix fad diet so I can drop 6 sizes in a week. I want to BE healthy, for real. 

So what to do when you've made this decision and then lose a step or two - or ten? Well...the only thing you can do: accept it, and move on. You can't change the past. All you can do is reaffirm your reasons for setting the goals you have, and keep on pushing toward them. Nobody is perfect. Even the most successful people in the fitness industry have admitted to having those days or weeks or months where they "just don't wanna".

And that's ok - it happens to everyone! But the only way to succeed is to not give up. To do that you need motivation, right? That's the hardest part - staying motivated...and do you know why? Because it's mostly on you. Sure there are plenty of external sources of motivation - a good support system is super-important to have, but unless you are truly motivated on the inside, nothing you do will really stick.

Feeling good about being strong and healthy...that's my motivation.
What's yours? ;)

So sit down and have a heart-to-heart chat with yourself (maybe not in public, or you might look crazy!) about what your goals are and WHY you want them so badly. If you are completely honest with yourself, this will likely be all you need to hop right back up onto that wagon, because while YOU may not be perfect, your reasons for wanting to be healthy ARE the PERFECT motivators!  :)




Don't forget - if you need a little more motivation, "Like" my Facebook Page, for recipes, pictures, and to follow along on my health and fitness journey!