Change

Since I have started writing my blog, I have gotten great feedback and encouragement from family, friends, and even new friends that I have made as a direct result of writing it.  While I can't even begin to express how truly thankful I am for the support, there is one thing that has been nagging at me in the back of my mind - the feeling that I am not making a difference.  

I won't lie. Of course it feels great to receive compliments - who doesn't like to be praised for something they worked so hard on???  But that was not the reason that I wanted to write a blog in the first place - it was never about me.  The past 2 years have been about me.  Every night when I left my sleeping baby and husband to go to the gym...that was about me.  It was a change I needed to make for myself.  I know it may sound selfish, but the truth is I'm glad I did it.  It's true what they say - you have to take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of others.  I'm in a much better place than I was 2 years ago and, in my opinion, a much better wife and mom because of the changes I have made. But that's not what this blog was ever about.  

What inspired me to write this was the idea that I could actually make a difference in someone's life the way others have made a difference in mine.  I used to think that there were 2 types of people: the people who are natural leaders and are effortlessly able motivate others, and the people who NEED to have those leaders to motivate them.  But one of the many lessons I've learned during my journey is that we are ALL capable of being the former.  The difference in the 2 types of people simply lies in whether or not they have realized this potential. And I discovered for the first time that I had a desire to be the type that realized it. 

So to set out on this journey to help others and then feel like a failure because everyone isn't going out and making drastic changes in their life was initially a little discouraging. But it got me thinking...MY transformation - physical or mental - didn't happen overnight! Why would anyone else's? It should be so obvious to me, of all people!

My own physical transformation is going on 2 years and counting; and the changes I've made in my ways of thinking were preceded by years of failed attempts at crash diets and many, many unfulfilled promises of change. To make REAL change in your life - whether it has to do with health and fitness, or any other life situation that you are trying to change - there has to be a culmination of different things happening - sort of a perfect storm.

1. The Want. You have to want it. No matter how much motivation you are receiving from external sources, this is by far THE MOST important step to change. You have to truly want it deep down to your very core - your motivation has to begin with something that is inside of you. Nobody else can do this step for you. 

2. Readiness to sacrifice for what you want. When I embarked on my fitness journey, I had just come off of a 9 month stint of sharing my body with another human being. A beautiful experience, no doubt, but also a little unnerving at the same time. Over the course of my pregnancy, I had a lot of time to sit back (with my swollen feet up!) and really think about how I felt about where my life would soon be headed. I didn't like what I saw.  I didn't like the way I felt about myself and I hated the idea of my daughter growing up seeing poor self-esteem as the norm. This was enough for me to reconcile the idea of getting dressed at 9:00 at night in the dead of winter and heading out to the gym when everyone else was cozying up on the couch, watching "Dancing with the Stars". Mentally, I was ready for change, no matter how inconvenient it seemed.

3. The Catalyst. If you read my very first blog post, then you know that, while I was making good on my promise to include fitness in my life, I was still only going through the motions for the first year. Yes, I spent almost every night at the gym, but after a short while, what I was doing became fairly ineffective, and I was on the verge of giving up and settling for the results I had gotten. It wasn't until I saw the drastic results that someone else had gotten from dedicating themselves to learning about fitness and nutrition that I began to truly understand what I had to do to reach the goals that I had set for myself. This was the catalyst that sent me into a frenzy of research, trial and error, and led me to make the decision to not only make this a "diet", but a "lifestyle". 

As I mentioned earlier, my inspiration for starting this blog was to help others see that it is possible to do what sometimes can feel impossible. I get a ton of people telling me that they wish they could do what I did and change their habits and lifestyle. For me, hearing that makes me a little sad. Because I know the truth: that you don't have to wish for it. I had a hard time conveying the intensity of what I mean by this in writing, so I recorded a Vlog to hopefully get the message across...hope this explains it a little better:

P.S. I apologize for having to get up in the middle of it - haha - and for my rambling and abuse of the word "Um" - I'm not a great public speaker, which is why I have a written blog, as opposed to a regular YouTube channel, but I just felt like something was getting lost in translation when I was putting it in writing.