"It's Part of the Process"

If you have ever followed a fitness professional/blogger/Youtuber/enthusiast, you, no doubt, have heard the phrase "learn to appreciate the process." Meaning, don't look at the lifestyle as just a means to an end. If you're in it for the right reasons, the results will come. Don't fixate on the little things, but rather see your journey on a larger scale as "the bigger picture" and the little things will fall into place. I, myself, am guilty of throwing this phrase around time and time again when it comes to fitness. I believe it wholeheartedly, I truly do. I know it, I believe it and yet, even I manage to lose sight of it from time to time...and perhaps forget that it applies to more than just fitness.

Life, for example. It has it's fair share of ups and downs, that's for sure. The past two years or so have proven this to me. There will be times when you feel happy and free and invincible. You lose a bunch of weight and people start noticing you that never did before and you start a blog and a YouTube channel and feel as though nothing can ever get you down again. And then something does get you down. And then another something gets you down and another something and another and before you know it you feel as though you're about as low as you can go...and then just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you fall even harder than that. 

I'm not looking for sympathy, here - the point that I'm trying to illustrate is that this is the cycle of life. It's not always sunshine and rainbows - in fact, more often than not, life will throw you rainclouds (aka obstacles) to try to block out the sun. There's no way around it. It happens to the best of the best. And when it does, you have only two choices. You can give in to the feeling of hopelessness and let the rain beat you further and further into the ground, or against all odds, you can fight like hell to weather the storm. 

Anyone who has ever been in this position knows it is not an easy decision to make. But it is part of the process. And it determines who you are and where your journey will take you. 

I have had much reason lately to doubt that I am truly the person I've strived to be - to wonder if everything I've worked toward has been in vain. I've looked to everyone and every place I can think of to find the answers - except the one place I needed to be looking: IN THE MIRROR. I am the only one who has the answer. There are days when I feel completely powerless to find these answers that I seek and it is on those days that I hate myself for being so weak. And then it hits me.

Weakness is part of the process. Without it, we are not able to appreciate strength. Without the bad, we do not know how lucky we are to have the good. Without the rain, we have no rainbow. It is NECESSARY to feel pain, to feel lost, to feel weak...because it is in those moments when we think we are too weak to pull ourselves back up, that we find out just how strong we really are. 

I'll admit, I have a long way to go before I am out of the storm. However, just knowing that it is part of the process and it's within my power to pull myself out of it gives me something to look forward to. Though it may seem faint, if I look beyond the rain, I can see just a glimpse of the rainbow to come...

"The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears."